For some couples, marriage seems to be a breeze. They may finish each other’s thoughts or anticipate each other in a way that shows they are compatible and that they communicate well. Perhaps you are not so fortunate. Whether you have been married for decades or are relatively new at it, you may be growing weary of the situation, especially if the hard times outweigh the joy.
You may know couples who have remained together and worked out their differences, some couples who struggled unhappily all their lives, and others who cut their losses and filed for divorce. Which one will you be? How will you know when it is no longer reasonable to remain in your marriage?
Is it time to go?
Of course, there is no blanket answer. Each couple is unique, and each situation has its own dynamic. However, for many spouses who are in unhappy marriages, the decision to leave hinges on the feeling that they are losing themselves. If you are turning into a version of yourself you don’t want to be, you may be nearing time to end your marriage. Some practical examples of this include the following:
- You no longer reach for personal goals through no choice of your own.
- You find it harder to bring out the positive side of your personality.
- It seems like you are constantly begging or fighting to get the things you feel you deserve from the marriage.
- You have unwillingly let go of your faith.
- You spend most of your time worrying about your marriage.
While everyone may go through phases like these in a marriage, your situation may be more urgent if your spouse is actively contributing to your stress and unhappiness. For example, any of these situations may mean seeking a divorce is in your best interests:
- Your spouse keeps you separated from family, friends and other systems of support.
- He or she places restrictions on the kinds of entertainment you can enjoy.
- You constantly fear your words or actions will elicit a negative response from your spouse.
- You feel you have to make excuses or explain your spouse’s behavior to others.
- Your spouse has an addiction to alcohol, drugs, gambling or pornography.
- You are afraid your spouse will hurt you.
One clear sign that it may be time to divorce for many in your situation is when they spend a great deal of time wondering why they are still married or imagining life without their spouse. You may find yourself daydreaming about a fresh start, free from the stresses, fears and sorrows you are now experiencing. Before you make any decisions, however, it is important to have as much information as possible about the laws for divorce in Tennessee. A family law attorney can provide that information.